Chapter Text
A dream that feels almost endless, just like a floating sea.
A rumbling, shaking everything, as it clearly resounds.
Countless birds with their wings on fire, spreading their ashes as they soar the sky.
A phrase which promises a reunion in the future, whether the reunion is distant or near doesn’t matter.
A sharp gasp, and his awakening to follow.
Good morning, Eren.
…
Dogs bark wildly, early in the morning, because of the crying of children that don't want to go to school, and accompanying them both, is the singing of the early birds. Everything is… noisy.
…
The bed that's up against the left wall, right in front of the door, with a freshly awakened boy laying on top of it, taking in deep breaths to calm himself.
Black curtains are drawn over the open window above the bed, letting the smell of morning seep through.
A small drawer to the right of the bed, with a phone on top that's been charging all night. Inside… lies a secret.
A dusty desk and chair, standing up by the wall with three windows, with unfinished stacks of homework on one side of the turned off computer, and a small framed photo on the other.
An opened closet, opposite of the three windows, with barely anything inside it, and an empty laundry basket right next to it.
The messy room, littered with clothes all over the floor.
A filled trash can, that sits to the right of the desk, with some old candy wrappings and curled up papers laying beside it.
A backpack filled with books and school tools, laying in the middle of the floor of the room.
A small tank on top of a table by the right wall with a wide window. It contains the worm with the missing head, whom faintly glows in the dark. The inside has been decorated to look like a beach.
Dumbbells that lay beneath the aforementioned table up against the right wall, along with other training equipment besides it. They've caught a bit of dust.
A few posters of random, irrelevant things he doesn't care about anymore are hung up on the wall above him, looking down on him.
Footsteps, which can be heard from outside the room.
The sound of the door opening.
Light that shines in from the hallway, and onto the boy.
A silhouette of a woman, looking down on him.
The alarm that rings at 6:45.
"Eren! It's time to get up! I can see you moving in your bed from here… Me and your father will be leaving for work now. Remember to get something to eat before you leave for school! And clean up your room a little… It looks like a pig's pen in here..."
She calls out to her son, whom pulls his blanket over his head, before she hurries out the door, leaving it ajar.
Another door opens, and shuts after.
His mother, Carla, owns a bakery named Carla’s Cakes, though she sells more than just that. She opened one up when The Boy turned 15, as she got tired of being a stay at home mom. It's a very popular one, and the locals enjoy her food a lot. They think of her pastries as some of the best around, and The Boy heavily agrees with that notion. She’s a bit hot-headed and impatient with The Boy at times, but despite that, she still loves and cares for him more than anyone, even though he believes he doesn’t deserve that. She's a good person.
His father, Grisha, works as a doctor. His job is to save lives, and he's one of the best at it. When a plague came about, he managed to create a vaccine for it by himself. Some call him a wizard of medicine, and it'd be hard proving them wrong given how experienced and skilled he is at his job. He’s a very lenient and caring person, rarely ever getting upset at anyone, and anyone that would meet him now would agree that he’s one of the few souls in this world that one could consider “kindhearted”. He's a good person.
The boy is alone now.
…
07:00
…
He sits up in bed, and vacantly stares ahead.
His long raven-black messy bed hair that reaches down to his shoulders and covers his lightless eyes gets pushed back a little to clear his view.
A single glance across the room, followed by a yawn and a stretch of the arms.
Leaving the bed, he begins to pick up a random outfit. A black hooded cardigan, with a white shirt that has string tassels at the collar, alongside black pants. He puts it on before taking the rest of the clothes on the floor, whether it's clean or not, and puts it in the laundry basket.
That's better.
He looks at his desk, and sees the old photo next to the computer. He picks it up, and stares at it, with nostalgia in his eyes.
It's him and his Brother. They were younger here. They smile widely in the picture, as The Brother hugs The Boy from behind, with his head on top of him. The Boy wore the same outfit in the photo as he is now, albeit a smaller version of it, with that red scarf he always wore, while The Brother is wearing green cargo shorts, alongside a white button up shirt with rolled up sleeves. On the shirt's chest pocket, is a number, though the number can't be seen because of the boy's head. The biggest differences between the two, would be that the brother has lighter skin than The Boy, with short blonde hair which is styled similarly to that of a young Leonardo DiCaprio’s, along with dark blue eyes.
They look happy.
His brother, Zeke, is a zoologist, meaning that he wanders around the world, studying animals. Sometimes long dead animals. The Brother is actually The Boy's half brother, their father had been married once before, but the mother passed away. He inherited the blonde hair and blue eyes, which have a yellow glow deep inside the pupils, from her. The Brother is 10 years older than The Boy, and the two of them have a strong bond together. He gets called the boy wonder Zeke a lot. Mostly because of how he suddenly went against everyone’s expectations, became an honors student, and finally a critically acclaimed zoologist so early in his life. He's very popular online because of his blog, which features him taking care of a group of monkeys. It’s gotten to the point where he’s gained a cult-following of him and his apes. A sole comfort in the world for many. He tends to be rather goofy and likes to joke around a bit, but when the situation calls for it, he can be quite serious. He cares a lot for his family, especially for The Boy. He's a good person.
With a yawn, he puts the photo down, and goes over to the small tank with the headless worm. He picks up a small, cylinder container next to the tank, which contains food flakes.
The headless worm's name is Jörm. He thought it was a nice name. They were a gift from the brother, after he went on an expedition somewhere on the planet to research wildlife. Despite their appearance, and their worm-like appearance, they arenot a wandering stick. Apparently, they're a rather rare species, named Hallucigenia by his very own brother, though he doesn't care much about that. Jörm is cute with those two small black eyes at its front, but some people find them a bit scary, because of the long, tube body it has and the spine-like legs with claws at the base and spine-like squiggly spikes that stick out of their back... but what they never really look at are the cute, three pairs of appendages, all the way at the front which kind of work as tentacles to grab food and feed its mouth with. Jörm's a good worm.
He pours some of the food flakes down there, and watches as The Headless Worm grabs them with the appendages, opening their mouth... by opening up what's 1/3rd of its body. Rows of small needle-like teeth reveal themselves, as The Headless Worm stuffs themself, their thoughtless eyes on The Boy, before closing right up after. A content look is in his eyes as he watches, before he puts the cylinder down next to the tank.
He pets them lightly, hearing a purring sound from The Headless Worm, before walking away and grabbing his backpack, and… putting it down.
The door to his room closes, as the lonely bed with blue pillows and blankets is filled again.
A faint memory, from a couple of years ago, illuminates in the back of his mind as he closes his eyes and lays himself to rest.
…
In front of his eyes, a blonde man in a white suit walked up a narrow staircase, as the sound of flicking was heard from him. Behind the boy, loud chattering was heard alongside an orchestral band which played classical arrangements.
“Whew… Talk about uncomfortable. You know… When you were younger, you used to get angry and annoyed when you were forced to come to these events with us… Now, you’re so anxious that you looked as pale as a ghost as those geezers talked to you… It’s a good thing I managed to drag you out of there, though… Who would’ve known what would happen if I didn’t? All things considered, though, I don’t think I could stand watching all life leave my little brother’s body in front of my eyes... Sheesh.”
The figure with a husky voice turned around as he continued to walk, with a lit cigarette in his mouth, he smiled reassuringly as he reached into his pocket with his other hand to put his lighter away. Now fully revealed in appearance, he looks to be… a bit taller than the boy. On this night, he wore a black button up shirt beneath his white suit, and he had a white tie around his neck. Now rocking a clean-cut, blonde beard and a mustache on his face, Zeke looked quite a bit older than in the photo. Jägers seem to age with grace.
The smell of smoke hurriedly made its way into The Boy’s nostrils, making it feel like his airways were burning, and shortly after, white clouds flew towards him… and he dismissed them with a wave as he coughed a little. The higher up the two went, the more the loud noises from below died down.
“... Yeah, thanks for that, it… was a bit overwhelming, yeah... Don’t know what I would’ve done without you, Zeke.”
As they reached the top, they were met with a door, and as that door opened... The moon, amidst the starry sky, shone brightly down… In the distance, between the large buildings in the city, trees that had begun to lose their wings made of dreams stood, with small piles of red leaves resting at their base.
“Mm… Well you don’t have to worry, saving their little brothers from unpleasant situations is what big brothers are for, isn’t that right? Hehe…”
He responded, as he made his way to the railing. He bent over, as he leaned against it, sticking his butt filled with zekerets into the air.
The Boy stood back a bit as he squeezed his arm, whilst he took in the scenery of the city from high above. The Boy himself had short black hair that reached the top of his neck at the time, with short bangs over his forehead that were parted in a curtain-like manner, and he wore a red suit, with a black button up shirt underneath and a purple tie around his neck.
“... Though, I’d be lying if I said some of them didn’t have a point… You are 15 now, right? You’re going to have to start thinking of your future. That Kirijo girl that goes in your class, I’ve heard she’s got hers planned out already…" The Brother took a deep inhale as the lit part of the cigarette glowed, before he took it out of his mouth to huff out a large cloud of smoke, and then back in, now seeming a little more relaxed than before. "All set out to inherit the family business from what I've heard. But it’s not like you need to make your mind up completely, just having an idea of what you want to do might help. There’s only 3 years until you graduate… Then the world gets bigger, and you end up feeling smaller.”
“... You took me right out of one trap… just to put me in another… Can’t help but feel a little betrayed here.”
The Boy said with a bitter tone in his voice, before tugging at his purple tie in an attempt to loosen it. The Brother looked over his shoulder with a small pout on his face.
“Hey! Come on now… unlike the old guys in there, I’m actually worried for you. My adorable little brother’s grown up so fast, it feels like it was just yesterday when you barged into my room with all your demands to play catch and read books… Besides, you should consider yourself lucky… You’ve got more freedom over your future than the rest of the family’s ever had… You won’t end up having to become yet another doctor… All thanks to none other than I.”
The Brother’s gaze returned to look out at the city, and The Boy quirked an eyebrow as he tilted his head to the side.
“... The hell do you mean by that?”
The boy asked, with confusion in his voice.
“Hm? Right... I guess father never told you that our family has a great reputation, a curse even, because of the long line of doctors from his side… This curse was the same reason our Aunt Faye ran when she was young, but... A lot is expected of us, Eren. The world wants us to become doctors, or to fail completely. My study of zoology… has attracted a lot of attention from just about every big name there in that room. They’re all keeping an eye on Zeke the Boy Wonder, curious to see whether he’ll fail at what he’s doing... It’s a risky move on my part. I might just end up tarnishing the family name completely if I make even the smallest slip-up… But that's a risk I’m willing to take if it means giving you more freedom over your life… Something that I’m sure father wants for you too. Even though this isn’t my true dream… it’s good enough. Your big brother’s passionate about this new dream of his… And that’s truly all that matters, isn’t it? To have passion in your life... Enjoying every little thing that you can.”
The Brother looked over at the confused boy with a smile on his face, though even The Brother could hear the tint of regret, before he took in yet another inhale of the cigarette.
“I… don’t get it. Why would you do… any of that? Wouldn’t it have been better to… just do what you actually want?”
The Boy didn’t fully understand what The Brother meant. He was well-aware of the weight the name of this family carries, but he didn’t realize there was… this much pressure on it. The Brother fully turned around, and leaned back first up against the railing, smoke escaping the gap between his lips as he looked directly at The Boy.
“The reason’s simple, Eren… I want you to break free of this curse placed on our family, and realize your own true dream someday. Then, I want you to grab onto it… and make it real, instead of having it slip out of your hands because of this curse placed on us… You might not believe this, but father wasn’t as kind and happy as he is now. He was far more strict, and filled with stress from the crushing pressure put on him because of this accursed name... And then he lost my mother… He was completely lost with his life, but it wasn’t like he could do much about that, after all… This curse wouldn’t allow him to do anything about it. Then the plague hit, the vaccine was made… And he got married again. All of a sudden, it was like he’d become a new person with your mother… and then you were born... and the first time I held you in my arms, it felt like I became a new person myself. It’s funny how… something as unexpected as another person’s life can drastically change another, don’t you think? Heh…”
He looked to the side, taking the cigarette out of his mouth as his arms rested on the railing.
“... When I first saw you that day in the hospital, I promised myself that I wouldn’t end up letting you suffer as I have… I promised myself that the future generations of our family won’t have to suffer like the past. Together… We’re going to make that happen, Eren. Think of me… as a lock. I’ve set things up, so that whatever you choose in the future… is going to break this curse once and for all, as long as you don’t fail. Eren, you're the key… and you are going to save the future of this family. You're the freest of us all.”
A moment of silence was shared between the two. The Boy could feel his heart up in his throat, almost like it was about to fall out of him… While The Brother put the cigarette in his mouth, and kept his eyes on The Boy.
“I’m going to ask you something… You won’t have to answer, it’s just something that you can think about once in a while.”
As he took a deep inhale of the cigarette, the lit cigarette glowed brightly... The light of the moon shone down on him, putting him, and only him, in the spotlight as he spoke to The Boy.
“Where are you planning to die… And when it happens, will your life have been worth it?”
Keeping the cigarette in his mouth, his voice strained as it grew more serious.
He looked over at The Boy, and lowered his glasses. His dark blue eyes stared deeply into The Boy’s innocent grey and yellow ones, and The Boy could see himself in his brother's eyes, standing like a frozen lamb.
“Think… Eren, and agonize! Then make up your mind for yourself. Even if you don’t understand… As long as you strive to understand as you grow older… You can just about hang on to who you are. The boring daily grind… The useless scenery… You’re the only one who can change it.”
It felt as though time had stopped between the two brothers, whilst the cigarette smoke dispersed from the soundless wind into the night sky. As if it was telling The Boy… that everything could fade so easily... and dreams are no exception to that law of nature.
“... If you stay strong to the point where nothing can make you fall… If you keep yourself standing taller than those ignorant fools in there... If you don't sell your soul to anyone, and remain yourself for as long as you can...”
The Brother kept on talking, as The Boy’s eyes widened with this obtuse scenery that The Brother’s words painted for him! As the realization set in more and more for The Boy on that day, he felt as though he wanted to put an end to it all... The freedom that he was given, was built on a mountain of dead dreams... and he needs to make those sacrifices worth something.
“ ... Then the world… will be yours .”
He took the cigarette out of his mouth, and the last bit of smoke escaped his mouth. Smushing the cigarette out on the railing, his eyes pierced The Boy's… before he let out a small chuckle, as he pushed his glasses back up, and looked out at the city once more.
“Haha… Well, that got a little too serious at the end there… By the way, I got you a gift from an expedition I went on with my mentor and our team... I'm sure you remember Mr. Ksaver. I think you’ll like it… It’ll teach you a bit about responsibility, I suppose, and I’m almost certain it’ll help you get through hard times in life… It's a little freakish, and your friends might get scared, so don't show it around… Except for Armin, maybe, that little guy seems a little more odd than the rest… Think he’d come work with me someday? He’s quite a curious boy, I might just snatch him with me someday in the future and see if he’ll like it. If that’s fine with you, of course… Wouldn’t want to steal away your best friend after all… Hehe...”
The boy was holding himself back, trembling, and couldn't force out a response, as whenever he tried to part those lips of his… Words wouldn’t come out. He could do nothing but a mere nod with a nervous smile on his face, as his eyes darted around, wild and lost in a sea of nausea. He moved forward and put his hands on the railing to steady himself, before he looked down below, at the busy streets filled with cars... At the birds that flew low and past it all... He couldn't help but wonder to himself… if it would be fine for him to fall over, then and there.
...
